sometimes I get discouraged. (Like the last 12 months or so) In comparison to what other may be going through- my trials probably seem unimportant and insignificant. But they are real for me.
The last week has been especially hard for me. I think it's a touch of the Winter Blues but it makes everything else seem less-bearable somehow.
*It probably started because of the stinkin' cold and snowy weather. It has been 14 days since we have seen any progress on our house building process. I'm so tired of this tiny apartment, not being able to have ANY people over (it's so tiny in here), and not being crafty. I'm a slug! I feel like living situations have just been so against me for the last couple years. Even after much prayer and good feelings of where to go and what to do-- it feels like as soon as we move ahead with the plans- things go wrong. I'm so frustrated!!!
*Then I happened to "Blog-Stalk" a couple cancer ladies. The ones I came across just happened to be 2 ladies who had breast cancer several years ago. They did all they could to fight it and were "cured". But now years later- it's back and fatal. They are just writing their story until one day- they'll just be dead. I try hard to not think about things like that because the truth is: as a cancer survivor, that's the harsh reality. Plus I am dealing with a health issue right now that may or may not be related. I hate that about cancer. It thwarts your mind-process about any kinds of health issues. I SOOO don't want it to run my life. Grrrr!
*Not to mention that the Muffler fell off the Explorer this weekend, so now we have 2 cars that are falling apart at the exact time that all our money is being sucked into a hole (literally) in Montana City. Stupid cars!!
*Being in a new city has been both an Adventure and a challenge. I have been missing my Fargo Sisters lately. My old friends threw a "Downtown Abbey" Party this last week. They dressed up in pearls and fancy hats. They ate tiny, yummy "hors d'oeuvres" (pronounced or-DURV). And maybe watched some episodes? Whatever they did- they were together and it looked so fun! Don't get me wrong- I actually love to hear them getting together. It just made me sad I wasn't there.
*That brings me to my friend situation here. There are some amazing women here in Helena. I mean A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.!! I never thought I would find another place like Fargo- but I have to admit- this is pretty darn close. However, I am new. I don't have history with these ladies. I've never adopted a baby or have done any kind of foster care. I'm not a marathon runner.;) It comes down to the fact that I haven't quite found a groove. And I have been too lazy to really put myself out there and do things. [ok- I'll eat those words in a second but that's how I was feeling this morning]
*Then to top it off- I had one of those "Mother of the Year", "Get-the-kids-off-to-School Monster" mornings. I'm sure they were ecstatic to spend the day away from me today. Because of our hectic morning, I came home a different direction from dropping the kids off. My path took me by the United Methodist Church and it's sign with their weekly thought. In a minute you will see why I call it my "sign from God":
I saw the sign and jokingly choked on the words. I know them to be true more than anyone.
HOWEVER...
that did not persuade me to give up my grand plans to wallow in self pity and ignore the world by crawling back in bed, taking a nap and perhaps indulging in a couple episodes of Hart of Dixie. LOL
BUT...
God had different plans. As soon as I walked in the door, I got a text from a friend inviting our family over for FHE and dinner tonight. They said we could bring dessert. Dang! I need to do some shopping. My plans to lock myself away for the entire day had been thwarted. But I do love to get together with people so I decided to wallow the day away and then suck it up for the evening.
THEN...
All comfy and tucked into bed- my phone rang. It was Shay. NO! Not me- I wasn't calling myself. That would be weird. But- it was the other Shay. She said she knew this was strange but she was planning to clean out her closets today when I popped into her mind. She was wondering if I'd be interested in coming over and helping her. Dang! Dang! I almost cried. How could she possibly know I needed her today?
SIDENOTE...
For those who know me well- I am a CLOSET CLEANER. I can have a messy house as long as my closets are cleaned, organized and possibly labeled. LOL I know it's weird but I LOVE a clean closet.
SO...
I dragged myself out of bed- and went over to "help someone solve their problem". I had a blast! It was exactly what I needed.
Man! Even when I do my best to ignore Him (and He has to resort to writing me a note on the side of the road)- God loves me!
Thanks to God for my sign and to the Binghams and Shay for helping me to forget my problems and showing me God's love today. XOXO
P.S.
Back in Fargo whenever I was sad I used to make lists of things I was grateful for. It helped me get a little perspective. [Here's where I eat my words from earlier about Helena friends.] I wanted to write down proof that I have amazing friends. So here's my proof:
* I've been able to plan fun parties for the Relief Society sisters
* I had my organizing date with Shay
* I have bi-weekly lunches with the work ladies- Allie and Lindsey
* We do almost weekly double dates with the Paynes
* I went Inspiration Shopping with Brenda
* Heidi and I text weekly to make plans for get-togethers
* I like to send Luv Texts to some of the amazing ladies I know
*We've had Family Dinner Dates with the Tubbs and the Binghams
* I'm going deal shopping with Heather
* We are planning dinner deal dates with the Andersons
See, Shay! You do have friends! You Silly girl!
I just LOVE these people!
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